[ it also takes him a minute, he doesn't really know what to say either. No one ever really thinks he's good. Best he's gotten is "probably the best...of the worst." ]
You really think that? Even now, after being brought here?
Okay. I'm gonna be real honest and it's going to suck and you don't have to agree with me but I'm still going to say it.
It kills me that you're here, because you're a good guy and you always were, but being good or nice or whatever is going to start hurting us. That's just why I say don't make a habit of it-- maybe once in a while won't be a big deal, but we don't really have a choice any more than the survivors do.
I respect that you said it. And now I'm going to say some shit.
I hate that we're here, that we're forced to do all this? That we did one bad thing in the real world, and now we're all being punished for it. But I have a hard time letting that one thing define me. Maybe this is a test you know? Like Hell or something. Maybe I deserve the punishing, the torture, the scary thoughts, I'm not a good guy, but maybe if I do enough good things I can atone. I don't know, maybe it's stupid, and you're right.
lmao dw we won't talk about the state of my inbox the last few months
I don't think it's a test. I think it's just some cosmic being that doesn't give a shit about us knows we can feed it for a while, and it's gonna use us and twist us so it can wring every last drop out before it throws us away.
Maybe we deserve to be punished I mean Yeah, we do. But not like this. None of you deserve this.
Also me: lmao dw we won't talk about the state of my inbox the last few months
[ why is she saying it like she does? it takes julie a little to respond, trying to put her thoughts and feelings to words, trying to decide which words to share. she made them this. sure, they were all shitheads before, and maybe frank was the catalyst but... wasn't it julie who encouraged it? to take their anger and frustration out on the people around them. wasn't it julie whose eyes glittered when the thought of reducing ormond to chaos and frenzy became a tangible idea? ]
[ because she thought, for a second, they were like her. but they're not. ]
I'm not a good person, Joey, I don't think I ever was. I'm good to you guys - or I try to be, because you're my family, and I love you. But that's not the same thing.
[ They all had agency, sure Frank encouraged them, planted the seed, but Joey let it grow, just as much as the rest of them did. Doesn't mean it's too late to weed the garden and grow something new, even if it feels like the earth was salted with the havoc they wrought. ]
I like good people, Jules. Never been one to value things or jobs or rules a lot, but I value people. And I love you, so tell me you're not a good person. It's not me you're lying to, dude.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You're a good guy, Joey.
[ shame that's not really a good thing to be on their side of things. ]
no subject
You really think that? Even now, after being brought here?
no subject
It kills me that you're here, because you're a good guy and you always were, but being good or nice or whatever is going to start hurting us. That's just why I say don't make a habit of it-- maybe once in a while won't be a big deal, but we don't really have a choice any more than the survivors do.
ive been slacking on joey tags sorry!!
I hate that we're here, that we're forced to do all this? That we did one bad thing in the real world, and now we're all being punished for it. But I have a hard time letting that one thing define me. Maybe this is a test you know? Like Hell or something. Maybe I deserve the punishing, the torture, the scary thoughts, I'm not a good guy, but maybe if I do enough good things I can atone. I don't know, maybe it's stupid, and you're right.
lmao dw we won't talk about the state of my inbox the last few months
Maybe we deserve to be punished
I mean
Yeah, we do. But not like this. None of you deserve this.
Also me: lmao dw we won't talk about the state of my inbox the last few months
Why are you saying it like you do?
no subject
[ because she thought, for a second, they were like her. but they're not. ]
I'm not a good person, Joey, I don't think I ever was.
I'm good to you guys - or I try to be, because you're my family, and I love you.
But that's not the same thing.
omg my favorite julie thread blessing my inbox
I like good people, Jules. Never been one to value things or jobs or rules a lot, but I value people. And I love you, so tell me you're not a good person. It's not me you're lying to, dude.